Blog Category: mindset

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin

Belief is where it all begins, so when you change a belief, you change everything.

 

Many of your most deeply held beliefs are hand-me-downs. They’re old, unexamined and unquestioned ideas that you innocently accepted from others. You didn’t take the time to examine, question or choose them. 

Little by little, your environment programmed your brain with beliefs about everything from love, health, work, your body, money, religion, beauty, relationships, other people – you name it - but most importantly, beliefs about who you are, your own capabilities and your reality.

Your brain tends to reinforce what you already believe.  Confirmation bias simply means you look for and find evidence to support your beliefs. You pick and choose information that confirms what you already know, and ignore (consciously or unconsciously) information that challenges your existing beliefs…and it can run real deep…like in religion and politics…you know, those two subjects we don’t talk about at family gatherings?? LOL  You can’t totally eliminate confirmation bias, but you can choose to keep an open mind, and learn to master your thoughts, instead of being mastered by them.

 

All beliefs are learned, consciously or unconsciously, are a choice and can be changed.

 

Changing your beliefs doesn’t have to be hard. It just takes awareness, desire and practice, sometimes lots of practice, but a belief is nothing more than a thought that you’ve decided is significant and true. There’s not a thing holding that belief in place. No steel bars, padlocks or chains. Like any other thought that appears in your mind, you can choose to let it go.

 

If you are unhappy with any of the beliefs you’ve chosen or unconsciously accepted from others, you can simply choose again…and again…and again…

 

Notice the beliefs you don’t like. Practice becoming aware of what you’re thinking (i.e. believing) and know that, at any moment, you can decide if you want to continue believing that thought...or not.

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the economy, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis

You always have more power than you think. Your mind is the most extraordinary tool you have to shape your reality. 

How you show up in your life, for the people in your world, depends so much on the way you think about yourself, the beliefs you have about who you are and what you represent and are capable of. 

 

Self confidence is a beautiful gift you can give yourself, that allows you to show up for everyone else because you’ve already shown up for yourself.

 

You are loved, adored and worthy, just because you are here. Don’t let those thoughts/beliefs tell you otherwise. Be good to you even when things don’t go quite like you think they should, when you fail and even if you get rejected. Feel the feels. Let that energy bubble up, recognize it, acknowledge it, then let it go. Don’t wait until that beach ball comes exploding up out of the water to acknowledge they exist…

Hey, hey, my friend! 

Question for you...When you are at the end of your life, you will come face to face with your regrets. All the things you wish you had done differently. What will yours be? 

 

According to Google, the top five regrets people have are wishing they had lived a life that was true to themselves, not one that others expected them to live; they hadn’t worked so hard at their job; that they had expressed their feelings; they had stayed in touch with their friends; and that they had let themselves be happier.

What if I shared with you one thing Dr. Edie from Life Mentoring School says will change your life? Would you be interested? Would you be up for the challenge, so you don’t face the same regrets?

 

Any guesses what that one skill is that will change your life?

 

It’s Love. Did you think unconditional love was a skill?? 

 

Every beautiful thing you have created in your life has been from love. Friendships. Your home. Your environment. Your family. And, loving others even creates more love in you.

 

Love just doesn’t happen, but you can create it just by making the decision to love and to get better at it. 

 

C.S. Lewis said, “Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more.”

 

What would you do if you felt unconditionally loving? Practice those things. All the time. No matter what. It takes courage to love unconditionally. 

 

How would love show up? What would it say? What would it do? How would it act? How would it think? Remember…you get what you think about…so what if all you focused on was love?

Do you know anyone who is a master of unconditional love? That loves no matter what? How do you feel when you are around them? What about after you have been with them? That feeling of love lingers, doesn’t it?

 

Is loving unconditionally hard? Absolutely. You will still struggle because we all see things differently. You think you are right and they are wrong. They aren’t doing their part, or they aren’t doing it right…It’s all in your perspective

 

What about those people who are a bit harder to love? They are your teacher…your assignment…your curriculum. God gives you those difficult or hard people because He knew committing to loving this person would bring up sooo many unlovable things in you that need to be worked on…I’m sure you can think of a few people in your life that are here to teach you lessons, to teach you how to be a better person, where you need to grow, where you need to let go.

Learn to receive love. Open your heart and be receptive. Stop listening to the negative stories your brain wants to tell you. 

 

Love is what makes things beautiful, and magical. Choose love. It’s a skill to practice. Are you up for it?

 

If you are up for a little more emotional work, mark your calendar and join us for our next “Second Sunday” event, March 12 at 2pm. We will be talking about and exploring emotions and learning about some great tools to help you on your journey. Again this month, space is limited, so simply hit “reply” and let me know you would like a spot. If you are like me and feel better with an adventure buddy by your side, feel free to invite a friend who could also use this information.

 

Jack Canfield says, "Life is like a combination lock, if you know the right numbers, in the right order, regardless of your race, gender or anything else, you can have anything you want. It doesn’t matter who you are – the lock has to open for you." 

 

Who remembers Muhammed Ali?? Am I dating myself? LOL  He says, “Impossible is a big word thrown around by small people who find it easier to live in a world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.” 

 

What if you changed impossible to “I’m possible”? 

Between the ages of 3 and 8, maybe 9, you decided you aren’t attractive, you’re not smart, you can't do math, people don’t like you, it’s not okay to ask for help, or to ask for anything at all…Our long held subconscious beliefs continue to get in our way even today.

 

Now consider this...the two most powerful words in our language are “I am”. Anything after those words, our subconscious takes as a command. Think about it. What words to you pair with I am?? Is it really what you want?? Do you really want to be fat, ugly, sick, tired, stressed, lonely, broke, unworthy, overwhelmed, exhausted...Remember, you get what you think about whether you want it or not...

Don't believe me?

Have any of you ever seen or tried Dr. Masaru Emoto's rice experiment where you talk positively to one jar of rice,  negatively to another and completely ignore the third jar for 30 days? We have done it and it is crazy! Check out his experiment by clicking here.  Try it for yourself! You will be amazed...

What do you need to let go of that your 8 year old self believed?? Grab your oils. Smell them right from the bottles. What ones are you drawn to? What ones do you not like at all? The ones you are drawn to, you need physically. The ones you cannot stand the smell of? Those are the ones your emotions need. Don’t set them down and walk away. Take the one that smells the worst to you. Put it on your feet. Put socks and shoes on after if you need to, or stuff them under your blankets.  But put the oil on. You can do this with more than one oil at a time, if you want, but at least use the one that is the worst for you. I promise, over time, if you continue to use it consistently, you will come to like or even love it, as the negative emotions are released and your cells are reprogrammed. I challenge you. Do it for at least a week, or a month, or longer. You will feel the shift. Then pick another oil…It’s truly that simple. You know my Stress Away story…

You are an amazing creation and you are here for a purpose. Don’t let another day go by without realizing that.

Want to know what my handy dandy blue books says for what oil to use for that emotion that keeps you awake at night?

Have an area in your body that hurts, an issue or dis-ease you would like to see the emotional baggage behind? 

Just curious and want to chat more?

Simply hit "Reply". I'm here to walk alongside you on your path to wellness, purpose and abundance. If you're ready, let's get started on the journey!

 

What if falling apart is an opportunity?

 

We’ve all had those times when things fall apart. It can be hard. It hurts. You feel lost, insecure and maybe even like a failure. You may wonder if you can even put the pieces back together, worried that things will never be the same again.

 

But…what if nothing actually went wrong? What if everything falling apart actually made things come together? What if it was a gift? What if it opened up an opportunity to re-build your life from the ground up, with a stronger foundation than ever before??

 

What if, with all the pieces scattered about, you got to intentionally choose how to rebuild, or maybe build your dream life?

 

Sometimes things fall apart so better things can be brought together.

 

We are told from an early age that to be successful in this life, we have to accomplish certain things, reach certain mile markers – graduate high school, go to college, make a lot of money, get the promotions, have a beautiful house, the best car, travel the world, have influence and power…

 

Is this really all you want your life to be measured by? Are there other things more important? More meaningful? More inspirational and valuable? What if you defined the meaning of success for yourself? What would it be?

 

A post from The Daily Rest said, “What if your markers of success were how well you slept last night? How many books you read? How easily you laughed? How much time you spent story telling or feeling warm in the arms of and homes of people you adore?”

 

What if our most valuable contributions and achievements were how much time you spent with the people you love? How well you take care of yourself and others? How much energy you devote to activities that fill you with joy and passion? How would that feel?

 

Success doesn’t have to mean meeting or surpassing major milestones or getting the titles they bring. It can simply look like laughter, abundance, love, friendship, freedom, safety, good sleep, delicious food shared with friends and family, hobbies…

 

Are you brave enough to challenge the standards and challenge others to do the same?  Together we can redefine what success looks like, but ultimately, the change starts with you.

 

My challenge to you is to really think about what success means to you, what it looks like to you…and then create your own definition and live it passionately.

Me and Dr. Jim Bob Haggerton popping in again this week! As you know by now, mindset and emotions are two of my passions, so hold on!

 

Everything in your body starts with your mind. Those thoughts you allow to run rampant in your mind create changes in your body… Lao Tzu, a mystic philosopher of ancient China, said, 

 

Your thoughts become the hard-wired part of your brain that you run off every day – your reflexes, your go to mannerisms, whether you reach for water or Diet Coke, it all started as a thought.

Let’s compare symptoms in your body to the check engine light in your car. They are basically the same thing. The check engine light is just telling you that something isn’t working great…just like a symptom in your body.

 

Picture yourself driving down the interstate, 70+ mph, listening to your favorite music, singing along, life is good. The check engine light comes on. What do you do??

 

Do you think, “Oh, my gosh!” then you pull the car over, jump out, run around the car panicking two or three times like a Chinese fire drill, throw open the hood, take a hammer or an axe to it, start pulling stuff out, or dumping oil or gas in, because you need to take something out or put something in, rip that belt off, whatever it takes right now because something is wrong and you need to fix it, no matter what. 

          

Or do you put a little duct tape over the light or even unplug it and think, “Phew! That’s better…I can’t see the check engine light, so it must be good…”? Instead of freaking out about the possibilities, you just cover it up and don’t acknowledge it, and just keep on driving.  In either case, you might have a sickness mindset…

          

A wellness mindset would think, “Oh, the check engine light is on. I wonder why.” That simple. It doesn’t mean you don’t pay attention, you just trace it back to its possible cause. 

 

Only two things cause symptoms in the body – toxicity or deficiency. Too much of something you don’t need, or not enough of something you do, and it creates change in some part of your body.

Rob Wolf, author of Wired to Eat, writes about all the things (paleo, keto, intermittent fasting, history of diet, genetics…) but he also adds that you can do all the things, the diet, the oils, everything you want, but if you don’t have community that  you do life with on a consistent basis, you can’t be fully well.

 

We are created for community, connection, togetherness. Have you found your people? Your community? 

 

Do you journal??  It can be a notebook, filler paper, a pretty leather journal, whatever works for you. Vent your brain on paper. Get your thoughts out. Review how the day went, allowing you to wrap your brain around situations so you can see if you are falling into sickness mindset or to see lies you are believing so you can get into that wellness mindset. 

I have been keeping a gratitude journal for almost about 3 years now. I started out with jotting down 3 things I am grateful for each morning, and now I am writing out 10. Some days are definitely easier…and some days you may or may not see things listed like “I am grateful the day is only 24 hours long…” LOL

 

A wellness (or growth) mindset is acknowledging where you are, and simply choosing to see the potential, the truth, or the steps to get you or your family to a better place, to move past where you are, to get to where you are called to be. 

 

It is not “everything’s fine” (we all know what that really means, right? LOL) Acknowledge it, but don’t get lost in it. Focus on change, movement, or progress out of the pain or situation.

 

One of the most effective ways to help the brain not get stuck in this one mindset is to introduce a different sensation while you are in the middle of stress – a smell, vibration, or movement.  Pull out that Peace and Calming, Valor, Lavender,  Stress Away, Palo Santo, Believe, Tranquil…find one you really love. Dance it out. Crank the music and sing along. Go for a walk. Bake. Find something that works for you.

 

Remember…anything going on in the body always goes back to the brain.

A friend of mine shared this, quality of life is worth fighting for. You, your life, your kids. Every moment should feel better. Health comes from making the changes. There is no magic bullet. Digestive health. Emotional health – stress impacts cortisol, hormones, weight… Movement. Sleep. Lifestyle. It’s not too late. It’s not too hard. It doesn’t have to stay the same.” She said she’s no miracle, but she’s worth the work, and so are you.