Two little words that could change your life, that blur your ability to be honest with your self...
"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the economy, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." Albert Ellis
What words did you come up with??
If you thought of "can't" and "won't", you're right.
How often do you throw these words around?
"I can't find the time to get up and workout every day."
"I can't forgive her for what she's done."
"I can't ask for help."
"I can't (fill in the blank) because...I can't afford it, or I'm afraid to..."
99% of the time when you say "can't", what you really mean is..."won't". You're not willing... You will not.
In other words...you don't really want to...
You don't want to do the work, or take the chance, or be uncomfortable or inconvenienced.
Let's try replacing that can't with won't...
"I won't get up and workout every day."
"I won't forgive her for what she's done."
"I won't ask for help."
"I won't (___) because I can't afford it...or I'm afraid to..."
Feels a little different, doesn't it??
When you use the word "can't", you feel like a victim, powerless with no control over your time, energy or choices. You take no responsibility for your life.
"Won't", however, helps you feel and show up more powerfully. You remember you are the one in charge of your thoughts and actions. You get to determine how you live your life. You feel more alive and energized.
So, my friend...which word will you choose today?
(Have you read Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo?? You will learn about this and so much more!!)
“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin
Belief is where it all begins, so when you change a belief, you change everything.
Many of your most deeply held beliefs are hand-me-downs. They’re old, unexamined and unquestioned ideas that you innocently accepted from others. You didn’t take the time to examine, question or choose them.
Little by little, your environment programmed your brain with beliefs about everything from love, health, work, your body, money, religion, beauty, relationships, other people – you name it - but most importantly, beliefs about who you are, your own capabilities and your reality.
Your brain tends to reinforce what you already believe. Confirmation bias simply means you look for and find evidence to support your beliefs. You pick and choose information that confirms what you already know, and ignore (consciously or unconsciously) information that challenges your existing beliefs…and it can run real deep…like in religion and politics…you know, those two subjects we don’t talk about at family gatherings?? LOL You can’t totally eliminate confirmation bias, but you can choose to keep an open mind, and learn to master your thoughts, instead of being mastered by them.
All beliefs are learned, consciously or unconsciously, are a choice and can be changed.
Changing your beliefs doesn’t have to be hard. It just takes awareness, desire and practice, sometimes lots of practice, but a belief is nothing more than a thought that you’ve decided is significant and true. There’s not a thing holding that belief in place. No steel bars, padlocks or chains. Like any other thought that appears in your mind, you can choose to let it go.
If you are unhappy with any of the beliefs you’ve chosen or unconsciously accepted from others, you can simply choose again…and again…and again…
Notice the beliefs you don’t like. Practice becoming aware of what you’re thinking (i.e. believing) and know that, at any moment, you can decide if you want to continue believing that thought...or not.
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the economy, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis
You always have more power than you think. Your mind is the most extraordinary tool you have to shape your reality.
How you show up in your life, for the people in your world, depends so much on the way you think about yourself, the beliefs you have about who you are and what you represent and are capable of.
Self confidence is a beautiful gift you can give yourself, that allows you to show up for everyone else because you’ve already shown up for yourself.
You are loved, adored and worthy, just because you are here. Don’t let those thoughts/beliefs tell you otherwise. Be good to you even when things don’t go quite like you think they should, when you fail and even if you get rejected. Feel the feels. Let that energy bubble up, recognize it, acknowledge it, then let it go. Don’t wait until that beach ball comes exploding up out of the water to acknowledge they exist…
Hey, hey, my friend! With all the illness we are seeing all around us lately, how about some lifestyle tips to help keep you above that wellness line??
Sharing some simple strategies from one of my favorite coaches, Dr. Edie Wadsworth, a physician turned incredible coach and mentor. Click her name to find her podcast and let her help you create the life you want to live!
*1. Real food, food that nourishes you, nutrient dense food. Shop the perimeter of the store (who said math wasn't important? LOL) Real food doesn't come with an ingredient label...if you are reading labels, you are buying the wrong food. Take a great probiotic to keep your gut microbiome healthy. Have you tried microgreens?? Kefir or any other fermented foods?
Processed foods, sugar, food that's hard to digest, antibiotics, stress, medicines, lack of movement, all damage that gut microbiome, leading to leaky gut, setting you up for all kinds of other issues. The best way to heal your gut is to eat your way there.
*2. Movement is so important! The amount of lean muscle you have on your body is one thing that determines your longevity more than anything else. As you age, if you are not actively building muscle, you are losing it. Muscle is the tissue of longevity, it is how you boost your metabolism, how you keep from having insulin resistance, balances your hormones, helps you age gracefully and more. Put your body under enough physical stress to make itself strong. There is nothing you can do like it that gives you the same benefit. You can't take a pill for it. You can't slather it on or breathe it in. You simply have to "put in the reps". ;)
*3. Good sleep and true rest. Are you getting in good productive hard work and movement, and then truly resting at the end of each day? Or are you getting some weird kind of in between thing? Are you getting enough sleep? Oils, supplements, a good night time routine, blackout curtains, a cool room, white noise...what works for you? Above all, get outside in the sunshine. Getting sun during the day helps you reset those wake/sleep cycles. Even losing an hour or two of sleep a night consistently over years can take years off your life...hmmm...Not sure I want to even think about how much I've lost over the years! LOL
*4. Reduce your stress...Easier said than done, I know. That's part of the reason you want to listen to Dr. Edie's podcast and teachings...a whole new way of looking at things...There is nothing worse for your body than chronic stress. We even create it for ourselves! Tell me you have never created a problem in your mind, then stressed about finding a solution to it, yet it doesn't even exist, hasn't even happened and probably won't happen at all!? LOL
*5. Reduce the amount of toxins you are exposed to. Dr. Edie shares that she has earned a "Ph.D. in natural health" over the last 10 years on this YL journey. She didn't learn this stuff in medical school, my friends. She learned it doing her own research, learning about her own body, making changes in her lifestyle and what she was or was not using or doing. You can, too.
Look around you for a moment. What is surrounding you? We are swimming in a sea of toxins. The average woman uses 300+ chemicals a day...80-100 of those before she has even had breakfast. Newborn babies have over 200 toxins in their umbilical cord blood that were passed from momma.
Research those candles, room sprays, cleaners, warmers, dryer sheets. Research the toxins they fill your body with. You don't know what you don't know. Get curious and see where the adventure leads you! Reducing toxins is way easier than you think. You already know my easy button. YL for the win! ;) Check out the new online catalog here.
I challenge you to try one or more of these simple changes this week. What's the best that could happen?
To hear more strategies, join us in Intentional Wellness, my free online community.
See you there!
Hey, hey, my friend!
Question for you...When you are at the end of your life, you will come face to face with your regrets. All the things you wish you had done differently. What will yours be?
According to Google, the top five regrets people have are wishing they had lived a life that was true to themselves, not one that others expected them to live; they hadn’t worked so hard at their job; that they had expressed their feelings; they had stayed in touch with their friends; and that they had let themselves be happier.
What if I shared with you one thing Dr. Edie from Life Mentoring School says will change your life? Would you be interested? Would you be up for the challenge, so you don’t face the same regrets?
Any guesses what that one skill is that will change your life?
It’s Love. Did you think unconditional love was a skill??
Every beautiful thing you have created in your life has been from love. Friendships. Your home. Your environment. Your family. And, loving others even creates more love in you.
Love just doesn’t happen, but you can create it just by making the decision to love and to get better at it.
C.S. Lewis said, “Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more.”
What would you do if you felt unconditionally loving? Practice those things. All the time. No matter what. It takes courage to love unconditionally.
How would love show up? What would it say? What would it do? How would it act? How would it think? Remember…you get what you think about…so what if all you focused on was love?
Do you know anyone who is a master of unconditional love? That loves no matter what? How do you feel when you are around them? What about after you have been with them? That feeling of love lingers, doesn’t it?
Is loving unconditionally hard? Absolutely. You will still struggle because we all see things differently. You think you are right and they are wrong. They aren’t doing their part, or they aren’t doing it right…It’s all in your perspective
What about those people who are a bit harder to love? They are your teacher…your assignment…your curriculum. God gives you those difficult or hard people because He knew committing to loving this person would bring up sooo many unlovable things in you that need to be worked on…I’m sure you can think of a few people in your life that are here to teach you lessons, to teach you how to be a better person, where you need to grow, where you need to let go.
Learn to receive love. Open your heart and be receptive. Stop listening to the negative stories your brain wants to tell you.
Love is what makes things beautiful, and magical. Choose love. It’s a skill to practice. Are you up for it?
If you are up for a little more emotional work, mark your calendar and join us for our next “Second Sunday” event, March 12 at 2pm. We will be talking about and exploring emotions and learning about some great tools to help you on your journey. Again this month, space is limited, so simply hit “reply” and let me know you would like a spot. If you are like me and feel better with an adventure buddy by your side, feel free to invite a friend who could also use this information.
Me and Dr. Jim Bob Haggerton popping in again this week! As you know by now, mindset and emotions are two of my passions, so hold on!
Everything in your body starts with your mind. Those thoughts you allow to run rampant in your mind create changes in your body… Lao Tzu, a mystic philosopher of ancient China, said,
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words;
watch your words, they become your actions;
watch your actions, they become your habits;
watch your habits, they become your character;
watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Your thoughts become the hard-wired part of your brain that you run off every day – your reflexes, your go to mannerisms, whether you reach for water or Diet Coke, it all started as a thought.
Let’s compare symptoms in your body to the check engine light in your car. They are basically the same thing. The check engine light is just telling you that something isn’t working great…just like a symptom in your body.
Picture yourself driving down the interstate, 70+ mph, listening to your favorite music, singing along, life is good. The check engine light comes on. What do you do??
Do you think, “Oh, my gosh!” then you pull the car over, jump out, run around the car panicking two or three times like a Chinese fire drill, throw open the hood, take a hammer or an axe to it, start pulling stuff out, or dumping oil or gas in, because you need to take something out or put something in, rip that belt off, whatever it takes right now because something is wrong and you need to fix it, no matter what.
Or do you put a little duct tape over the light or even unplug it and think, “Phew! That’s better…I can’t see the check engine light, so it must be good…”? Instead of freaking out about the possibilities, you just cover it up and don’t acknowledge it, and just keep on driving. In either case, you might have a sickness mindset…
A wellness mindset would think, “Oh, the check engine light is on. I wonder why.” That simple. It doesn’t mean you don’t pay attention, you just trace it back to its possible cause.
Only two things cause symptoms in the body – toxicity or deficiency. Too much of something you don’t need, or not enough of something you do, and it creates change in some part of your body.
Rob Wolf, author of Wired to Eat, writes about all the things (paleo, keto, intermittent fasting, history of diet, genetics…) but he also adds that you can do all the things, the diet, the oils, everything you want, but if you don’t have community that you do life with on a consistent basis, you can’t be fully well.
We are created for community, connection, togetherness. Have you found your people? Your community?
Do you journal?? It can be a notebook, filler paper, a pretty leather journal, whatever works for you. Vent your brain on paper. Get your thoughts out. Review how the day went, allowing you to wrap your brain around situations so you can see if you are falling into sickness mindset or to see lies you are believing so you can get into that wellness mindset.
I have been keeping a gratitude journal for almost about 3 years now. I started out with jotting down 3 things I am grateful for each morning, and now I am writing out 10. Some days are definitely easier…and some days you may or may not see things listed like “I am grateful the day is only 24 hours long…” LOL
A wellness (or growth) mindset is acknowledging where you are, and simply choosing to see the potential, the truth, or the steps to get you or your family to a better place, to move past where you are, to get to where you are called to be.
It is not “everything’s fine” (we all know what that really means, right? LOL) Acknowledge it, but don’t get lost in it. Focus on change, movement, or progress out of the pain or situation.
One of the most effective ways to help the brain not get stuck in this one mindset is to introduce a different sensation while you are in the middle of stress – a smell, vibration, or movement. Pull out that Peace and Calming, Valor, Lavender, Stress Away, Palo Santo, Believe, Tranquil…find one you really love. Dance it out. Crank the music and sing along. Go for a walk. Bake. Find something that works for you.
Remember…anything going on in the body always goes back to the brain.
Taking pre-orders for my next batch of elderberry syrup available in pint jars. Ready for your next bottle? Never tried it before? What's the best that could happen?
Fights infection. Calms nausea. Eases arthritis symptoms. Lowers blood sugar. Eases menstrual pain. Offers digestive support. Pain relief. Improved brain health. Protects against heart disease. Reduces inflammation. Anxiety reduction. Liver support. Antifungal. Boosts immune system. Provides energy. Cleansing and detoxifying. And more.
Simple ingredients like ginger, cinnamon, clove, honey and elderberry provide this type of powerful support. It is so much easier to live above that wellness line than to continually fight your way back up like a yo-yo. Message or reply to reserve yours.
A friend of mine shared this, quality of life is worth fighting for. You, your life, your kids. Every moment should feel better. Health comes from making the changes. There is no magic bullet. Digestive health. Emotional health – stress impacts cortisol, hormones, weight… Movement. Sleep. Lifestyle. It’s not too late. It’s not too hard. It doesn’t have to stay the same.” She said she’s no miracle, but she’s worth the work, and so are you.
by: Vicki Lyn Merrill©, CRTS, LSH