Are you in a season where some relationships are challenging...or just straight up miserably hard at times? Let's journey together through ways to make our most important relationships more joyful...including the relationship we have with ourselves...
When you think of one emotion you feel a lot in your relationships (marriage, children, other family members, friends, co-workers...), do you think of words like stressed, disappointed, misunderstood, bored, content, secure, angry, alone, thankful, overwhelmed, frustrated, lonely?
Was joy in there? or fun? or adventurous? Nope...they weren't on mine either.
Do you want to know the secret to having more fun, more joy in your life? Do you want it enough to work for it?
Joy is an emotion brought on by having what you desire...or maybe it's by desiring what you already have...hmmm...
Fun is amusing, entertaining, light-hearted, a true pleasure. But, let me ask you...is it truly fun or is it a buffer? Will it have a negative effect in the long run? I'll tell you, it was really fun to eat those perfectly crisp, warm, greasy, chocolate donut holes, all 14 of them, a few weeks ago, but doing that on the regular would definitely have a negative effect over time, right? Or is your fun something that brings you true pleasure, like going for a walk, sitting by a lake, kayaking, playing with your kids, hanging out with friends, reading a great book?
Adventure is an exciting experience. Have you planned for any?
How often do you think, "I'll be happen when..." or "This will be fun if..."? You know, when certain things outside of you, that are totally out of your control, come true...if you get that raise, if you go on that vacation, if kiddos act a certain way...then you can experience fun, joy or adventure. You think you need circumstances to line up in order for you to experience the emotions you want...that "if...then..." game. We've all played it.
What if I told you that it's not about the stuff that is outside of you, or out of your control, that can bring you fun, joy and adventure?? What if it is as simple as how you think, feel and act that brings results? The planets don't need to align, your bank account doesn't need to be overflowing and that certain in-law can treat you however they do, and it's all okay.
How do you want to show up? How do you want to think? What are the feelings you want to generate? What do you want to create in your home? Relationships? Intentionally decide. You have the power to create something different by what you think and how you show up.
Focus on possibilities, not problems. You can always make a list a mile long of problems because your brain is wired to focus on them. If you don't redirect it, that's all you are going to think about.
Remember those chemical cocktails like anxiety, overwhelm, stress, fear, frustration, your body can mix up so quickly because it gets sooo much practice with them? You can create the thoughts/cocktails for fun, joy, adventure, love, trust and more, with intention and on purpose.
Are you grateful for what you already have? How can you love the life you have more? The spouse you have? Family? Home? Job? the body? The calling? When you can do that, everything brings more joy.
Lighten up. Problems are everywhere. Stop living in serious negative overwhelm, making problems the focus of life. Decide you are a person who looks for happiness
.
. How can you be more playful? Enjoy life like a child...Say yes more often. Why restrict yourself? Why withhold joy? Why be irritated?
Create fun in those every day tasks...make challenging things more fun...
So, how are you withholding the fun, adventure and joy by the stories you are telling yourself? How can you create more joy every single day? Only you can decide to create joy, fun and adventure in your life. Are you up for it?
Summertime!! Full of all the fun activities, but how are you doing at not overscheduling yourself? Yeah...that's what I thought...LOL
Let's talk some simple tips...
If you’re taking a trip, don’t wait until the last minute to pack.
If you’re throwing a party, take it easy on yourself and make it a potluck.
The less pressure you put on yourself, the less stressed you’ll be in the long run...and the more you will enjoy the activities.
1. Acknowledge it
Whenever you are experiencing any challenging feeling, it’s always important to stop and acknowledge the feeling you’re having. I know you have tried to hold a beachball under the water...what happened? Yup - it blew up in your face or went flying in a totally different direction, but either way, it came back out of the water. That's what happens when we ignore those feelings...they come out somewhere else...usually as a result of something really little happening...
Identify and acknowledge the emotion. Let's look at overwhelm. Overwhelm is normal and expected when you have a lot going on. Recognizing that feeling is a great start. Where do you feel it in your body? Does your head hurt? Your stomach feel tight? Your body feel tense?
2. Determine where the overwhelm is coming from.
Our thoughts are powerful We feel overwhelmed when we think is too much of something: too much to do, too many feelings, too many things to think about, too many people or things pulling us in too many directions… you get the idea! After you recognize that overwhelmed feeling (or any other feeling), ask yourself what thoughts you are thinking about being overwhelmed. For me, it’s often caused by the feeling that I have to do all the things for all the people right now and of course, it all has to be done perfectly. No pressure, right? LOL
3. Figure out the truth.
Once you know where the overwhelm is coming from, you might notice that you’re telling yourself a story that isn’t true. Like in my example from above, it might feel like I need to take care of everything all at once and I need to do it all perfectly, but that simply is not true. The truth is that some things can be set aside for now. The truth is that everything will be okay if I let go of perfection...
4. Ask yourself what you need.
This step can be challenging at first but it is so important. Once you know that you are overwhelmed, you know what’s causing the overwhelm, and you’ve been honest with yourself about it, it’s time to ask yourself what you need right now in this moment. Maybe you need to tackle a task and get it out of the way, maybe you need a break, or maybe stepping outside for a walk will help tame your overwhelm. There is no right or wrong answer here, just figure out what will give you a bit of space to breathe and feel a bit calmer. I have learned, though, that eating 14 homemade donut holes isn't really the right answer...just sayin'...LOL
5. Take one small step.
Now that you know what you need, take one small step to help yourself. If you need a walk, take one. If you need to check something off your list, do it. One small step will usually lead you to one next step, and before you know it, you’ve calmed yourself down and you’re ready for the next thing.
Be good to you. Watch those thoughts...they are so much more powerful than we give them credit for. Take some time for you. Need a little help? Message me...I know a girl who can help... ;)
Join us Sunday Night for a Convention recap in our Intentional Wellness group on Facebook. 8:15pm. Can't make it? No worries! Replay will be there when you are.
Be well,
by: Vicki Lyn Merrill©
Licensed Holistic Practitioner
Certified Vitality Lifestyle Coach
207 480 0356
All Rights Reserved
Without Prejudice
Have you ever woken up feeling unstoppable and ready to seize the day? Or maybe you know someone who has this energy and confidence at the crack of dawn. Whether you’re a morning person or not, there’s no denying that the first moments of your day usually set the tone for the rest of the day. Your oils can be used to help you tap directly into the limbic system to stimulate memories and emotions.
There are so many definitions for that single word. This is possibly because there is no scientific consensus on a single definition. Emotion represents a mental state associated with thoughts and feelings. It is a conscious experience with intense mental activity and a high degree of pleasure or displeasure. Emotion is often intertwined with mood, temperament, past experiences, personality, disposition, and motivation.
As you inhale essential oils, the tiny molecules enter the nasal cavity and pass by the olfactory bulb. Your olfactory bulb is a part of your limbic system, so your response to a smell is going to be emotional before it can be rational. Sometimes that doesn't work to our benefit...LOL
But guess what?! That means you can use your oils to recall both good and bad memories. If they are bad, you can use them to help you release those cellular memories that are stored in your body, allowing you to process and move past them. It sounds wonky, but let me assure you, it works. I have been my own guinea pig to try it out. LOL
We all regularly come in contact with reactions to smells. You walk into the house at dinner time and smell your favorite meal cooking. Your emotions are instantly triggered by the happy memories you have of that meal and you feel joy. You smell the cologne your grandfather used to wear. It instantly triggers emotions based on your relationship. If you had a good relationship, you may feel emotions like love and joy. If you had a bad relationship or he has passed away, you may feel anger or sadness.
Incorporating oils into your morning routine can amplify your intentions and enhance your feelings of confidence so you can start your day from a place of strength. Layering and blending specific oils in distinct ways can help cultivate the right mindset to manifest your goals or face what the day will bring.
That’s why Gary put together an empowering essential oil routine, Gary’s Great Day Protocol. If you’d like to learn about the Great Day Protocol in more detail, click here and join in on our 4-day Great Day Protocol challenge!
Be well,
by: Vicki Lyn Merrill©
Licensed Holistic Practitioner
Certified Vitality Lifestyle Coach
207 480 0356
All Rights Reserved
Without Prejudice
Hey, hey, my friend!!
Summer is supposed to be one of the best, most fun times of the year, right? So, why does it seem to be one of the most overwhelming times, too? We hear a lot of talk about the slow, relaxing days of summer, and there are a few of those, but when you have kids, a job, and a life, summer can feel anything but slow. There are vacations to plan, ball games to attend, work to be done, and all those fun summer activities you want to squeeze in...sometimes it seems more chaotic than carefree...
All those plates you are spinning can make you a little crazy...especially once you realize some are plastic and some of them are glass... A new study from the American Physiological Society says that stress can actually rise during the summer. And I thought it was just me...LOL
The good news? There are plenty of ways to decrease your stress levels and keep your emotional health in check. We have been learning how important that is on our Sunday Night Lives, remember? ;)
Before we go further, I want to invite you to Dr. Edie’s Marriage workshop that is taking place on June 2 at noon. I’ve shared a lot of her teachings with you and I think every one of us would benefit from this event, regardless of what your relationship status is. You can register at www.lifeingraceblog.com/reinvent. Hope I will see you there!!
One thing I love to do in the summer is read at the lake while the kids enjoy the water. Thought I'd share some of my favorite books on emotions, how our thoughts create those emotions, and how it not only affects our ability to live our best life, but it also affects those around us, even marking our DNA and being passed on to future generations. Emotional work is extremely important work, my friends.
Heal Your Body by Louise Haye. An easy read, simple and quick to use! https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Body-Louise-Hay/dp/0937611352
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman. This was tough for me to get into but once she started talking about birth trauma and I could see one of my kiddos in her words, I was hooked… https://www.amazon.com/Feelings-Buried-Alive-Never-Die/dp/0911207023/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=feelings+buried+alive+never+die&qid=1653661421&s=books&sr=1-1
The Genie in Your Genes by Dr. Dawson Church. Epigenetics, blood transfusions, transplants, DNA, emotional trauma. Your genes respond to your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. I'm particularly interested in snagging this one since I had to have a transfusion 11 years ago... https://www.amazon.com/Genie-Your-Genes-Epigenetic-Intention/dp/1604152435/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+genie+in+your+genes&qid=1653661526&s=books&sr=1-1
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst. Discover how to move on, make peace with painful memories, and create a life that’s beautiful again. If you haven't read any of Lysa's books, you are missing out. https://www.amazon.com/Forgiving-What-You-Cant-Forget/dp/1404114890/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1SW98Z1F3526D&keywords=forgiving+what+you+can%27t+forget&qid=1653661594&sprefix=forgiving+what+you+can%27t+forget%2Caps%2C2769&sr=8-1
The Pathway to Emotional Healing by Jen McCraw. This is very similar to Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils and I have heard amazing things about this!! Detailed explanations about how emotions cause physical dis-ease; instructions for releasing emotions and recovering from trauma; 70+ pages of charts with easy-to-follow instructions for releasing over 250 different emotions; Scriptural affirmations; Essential oil application suggestions; Emotional roots of almost 400 physical symptoms and illnesses and more. https://the-pathway-book.com/
Switch On Your Brain by Caroline Leaf. 75-98 percent of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about truly affects us both physically and emotionally. Fear alone triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses in our bodies, activating more than thirty different hormones! https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Your-Brain-Happiness-Thinking/dp/0801018390/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2A3HW3JSEP1KS&keywords=switch+on+your+brain+by+dr.+caroline+leaf+paperback&qid=1653661967&sprefix=switch+on+your+brain+%2Caps%2C1583&sr=8-1
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. He uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?crid=20HRHIFD0KASK&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1653662081&sprefix=the+body+keeps%2Caps%2C1480&sr=8-1
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?crid=20HRHIFD0KASK&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1653662081&sprefix=the+body+keeps%2Caps%2C1480&sr=8-1
Truth Drops By Stacy McDonald. Hope and healing for those struggling with toxic thoughts, helping you find how a distorted view of self, unresolved hurts and lingering fears can stunt your overall success and learn how to release it all to the God who sees… https://growinghealthyhomes.com/truthdrops/
Winning The War In Your Mind - Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life by Craig Groeschel. Nearly everyone struggles with the battle in their mind on a nearly daily basis. Pastor Craig gives a totally different perspective on dealing with these struggles and shows us clearly how God sees us and how our trust in Him and developing new patterns of thinking puts us on the path to freedom from the poison we and the enemy create in our own heads. https://www.amazon.com/Winning-War-Your-Mind-Thinking/dp/0310363543/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
“Get Out Of Your Head” by Jennie Allen. Jennie inspires and equips you to transform your emotions, your outlook, and even your circumstances by taking control of your thoughts. Our enemy is determined to get in our heads to make us feel helpless, overwhelmed, and incapable of making a difference for the kingdom of God.
I'd love to hear what your favorite summertime reads are!!
Until you can make your way to your happy reading place, pop this blend into your diffuser and feel yourself start to relax...
Until next week...
Be well.
The Dirt on Spring Cleaning + Products
WHAT ARE YOU CLEANING WITH?
Ahhh! Open those windows and breathe in that fresh spring air! Spring is here, which means it’s time to start thinking about our spring cleaning checklists. There’s just something about the nice weather that brings on motivation for a fresh start. So let’s get to it! But wait, before you reach for those cleaners and get to work, let’s do a little digging into those ingredients, shall we?
Did you know? In 2000, cleaning products were responsible for nearly 10% of all toxic exposures reported to U.S. Poison Control Centers, accounting for 206,636 calls. Of these, 120,434 exposures involved children under six who can swallow or spill cleaners stored or left open inside the home. With no federal regulations on ingredients in household products, the only way we can protect our families is to learn how to read labels ourselves.
Let’s take a look at the top 4 ingredients to avoid and why.
UP FIRST, AND THE BIG ONE, FRAGRANCE!
This first ingredient is a BIG ONE, but it is in just about every household product that we use daily. Synthetic scents or “fragrances” represent an unidentified mixture of ingredients, including carcinogens, allergens, respiratory irritants, endocrine disruptors, neurotoxic chemicals, and environmental toxicants. You can find these artificial scents in all kinds of body care and cosmetic products, as well as candles, air fresheners, cleaning materials, and laundry detergents.
Let’s talk about fragrance, or parfum or perfume or a million other names ;) This Article shares the dangers of Fragrance. "Synthetic scents or “fragrance” represent an unidentified mixture of ingredients including carcinogens, allergens, respiratory irritants, endocrine disruptors, neurotoxic chemicals, and environmental toxicants. You can find these artificial scents in all kinds of body care and cosmetic products, as well as air fresheners, cleaning materials, and laundry detergents.
In general, there at least 3,000 ingredients that companies could use to form a product’s scent. According to the online “Transparency List” put out by the International Fragrance Association, an industry trade group. It may seem unbelievable, but the FDA does not even require fragrance and cosmetic makers to disclose exactly what they are using to scent products. If companies are using truly natural ingredients, then why be shy? Many will say that their formulas are proprietary, and they don’t want other companies copying them. The FDA website also states how the agency cannot legally require companies to warn about allergens in cosmetics like they do with food.
Are you wondering why companies would continue to use synthetic scents if they’re so bad for our health? The answer is straightforward — they are cheaper. Synthetic scents can be extremely cheap to give everything from shampoo to lotion to candles a desirable scent. Unfortunately, just because you enjoy a scent doesn’t mean it’s good for you." Source - https://draxe.com/health/dangers-synthetic-scents/
PARABENS/PHTHALATES
Parabens are preservatives that mimic estrogen. Found in many cosmetics & personal care items. When combined with heregulin, a growth-promoting substance normally found in breast tissue, the effects are multiplied by 100x, contributing to breast cancer, tumor growth &"moobs" (man boobs). Phthalates are a low-cost endocrine-disrupting chemical that in lab studies has shown to interfere with hormone production in rats and mimic estrogen in human studies. Found in: plastic food packaging, lotions, skin moisturizers, fragrance, cleaners, glues, and nail polish.
SLS - SODIUM LAUREL SULFATE
This chemical is used to de-grease car engines. It is also added to some toothpaste, soaps, detergent, skin products... it's in just about everything. It damages the kidneys/liver, teeth, endocrine system, causes hair loss, cataracts, ulcers, major toxicity, headaches, nausea, coughing, congestion, and more.
TRICLOSAN
An antibacterial agent registered as a pesticide by the EPA. Topical absorption has shown disturbances to the endocrine system and is believed to lead to birth defects and uncontrollable cell growth. Found in: soaps, deodorants, cosmetics, shave gel, first aid spray, kitchenware, and toys.
While there are many, many other ingredients that you will want to know about, these are my "TOP OFFENDERS." As you go further on this low tox living journey, you will learn about so many more. Remember, "Rome Wasn't Built In A Day," and your journey of learning is just that, a journey.
WHAT ARE YOU CLEANING WITH?
Ahhh! Open those windows and breathe in that fresh spring air! Spring is here, which means it’s time to start thinking about our spring cleaning checklists. There’s just something about the nice weather that brings on motivation for a fresh start. So let’s get to it! But wait, before you reach for those cleaners and get to work, let’s do a little digging into those ingredients, shall we?
Did you know? In 2000, cleaning products were responsible for nearly 10% of all toxic exposures reported to U.S. Poison Control Centers, accounting for 206,636 calls. Of these, 120,434 exposures involved children under six who can swallow or spill cleaners stored or left open inside the home. With no federal regulations on ingredients in household products, the only way we can protect our families is to learn how to read labels ourselves.
Let’s take a look at the top 4 ingredients to avoid and why.
UP FIRST, AND THE BIG ONE, FRAGRANCE!
This first ingredient is a BIG ONE, but it is in just about every household product that we use daily. Synthetic scents or “fragrances” represent an unidentified mixture of ingredients, including carcinogens, allergens, respiratory irritants, endocrine disruptors, neurotoxic chemicals, and environmental toxicants. You can find these artificial scents in all kinds of body care and cosmetic products, as well as candles, air fresheners, cleaning materials, and laundry detergents.
Let’s talk about fragrance, or parfum or perfume or a million other names ;) This Article shares the dangers of Fragrance. "Synthetic scents or “fragrance” represent an unidentified mixture of ingredients including carcinogens, allergens, respiratory irritants, endocrine disruptors, neurotoxic chemicals, and environmental toxicants. You can find these artificial scents in all kinds of body care and cosmetic products, as well as air fresheners, cleaning materials, and laundry detergents.
In general, there at least 3,000 ingredients that companies could use to form a product’s scent. According to the online “Transparency List” put out by the International Fragrance Association, an industry trade group. It may seem unbelievable, but the FDA does not even require fragrance and cosmetic makers to disclose exactly what they are using to scent products. If companies are using truly natural ingredients, then why be shy? Many will say that their formulas are proprietary, and they don’t want other companies copying them. The FDA website also states how the agency cannot legally require companies to warn about allergens in cosmetics like they do with food.
Are you wondering why companies would continue to use synthetic scents if they’re so bad for our health? The answer is straightforward — they are cheaper. Synthetic scents can be extremely cheap to give everything from shampoo to lotion to candles a desirable scent. Unfortunately, just because you enjoy a scent doesn’t mean it’s good for you." Source - https://draxe.com/health/dangers-synthetic-scents/
PARABENS/PHTHALATES
Parabens are preservatives that mimic estrogen. Found in many cosmetics & personal care items. When combined with heregulin, a growth-promoting substance normally found in breast tissue, the effects are multiplied by 100x, contributing to breast cancer, tumor growth &"moobs" (man boobs). Phthalates are a low-cost endocrine-disrupting chemical that in lab studies has shown to interfere with hormone production in rats and mimic estrogen in human studies. Found in: plastic food packaging, lotions, skin moisturizers, fragrance, cleaners, glues, and nail polish.
SLS - SODIUM LAUREL SULFATE
This chemical is used to de-grease car engines. It is also added to some toothpaste, soaps, detergent, skin products... it's in just about everything. It damages the kidneys/liver, teeth, endocrine system, causes hair loss, cataracts, ulcers, major toxicity, headaches, nausea, coughing, congestion, and more.
TRICLOSAN
An antibacterial agent registered as a pesticide by the EPA. Topical absorption has shown disturbances to the endocrine system and is believed to lead to birth defects and uncontrollable cell growth. Found in: soaps, deodorants, cosmetics, shave gel, first aid spray, kitchenware, and toys.
While there are many, many other ingredients that you will want to know about, these are my "TOP OFFENDERS." As you go further on this low tox living journey, you will learn about so many more. Remember, "Rome Wasn't Built In A Day," and your journey of learning is just that, a journey.
I have a FUN "Spring" Cleaning Challenge! 7 Challenges in 10 Days with FANTASTIC info on why you should do them, all for FREEEE and with accountability! Are you ready to join in??? Let’s DO IT!!!
