Are you in a season where some relationships are challenging...or just straight up miserably hard at times? Let's journey together through ways to make our most important relationships more joyful...including the relationship we have with ourselves...
When you think of one emotion you feel a lot in your relationships (marriage, children, other family members, friends, co-workers...), do you think of words like stressed, disappointed, misunderstood, bored, content, secure, angry, alone, thankful, overwhelmed, frustrated, lonely?
Was joy in there? or fun? or adventurous? Nope...they weren't on mine either.
Do you want to know the secret to having more fun, more joy in your life? Do you want it enough to work for it?
Joy is an emotion brought on by having what you desire...or maybe it's by desiring what you already have...hmmm...
Fun is amusing, entertaining, light-hearted, a true pleasure. But, let me ask you...is it truly fun or is it a buffer? Will it have a negative effect in the long run? I'll tell you, it was really fun to eat those perfectly crisp, warm, greasy, chocolate donut holes, all 14 of them, a few weeks ago, but doing that on the regular would definitely have a negative effect over time, right? Or is your fun something that brings you true pleasure, like going for a walk, sitting by a lake, kayaking, playing with your kids, hanging out with friends, reading a great book?
Adventure is an exciting experience. Have you planned for any?
How often do you think, "I'll be happen when..." or "This will be fun if..."? You know, when certain things outside of you, that are totally out of your control, come true...if you get that raise, if you go on that vacation, if kiddos act a certain way...then you can experience fun, joy or adventure. You think you need circumstances to line up in order for you to experience the emotions you want...that "if...then..." game. We've all played it.
What if I told you that it's not about the stuff that is outside of you, or out of your control, that can bring you fun, joy and adventure?? What if it is as simple as how you think, feel and act that brings results? The planets don't need to align, your bank account doesn't need to be overflowing and that certain in-law can treat you however they do, and it's all okay.
How do you want to show up? How do you want to think? What are the feelings you want to generate? What do you want to create in your home? Relationships? Intentionally decide. You have the power to create something different by what you think and how you show up.
Focus on possibilities, not problems. You can always make a list a mile long of problems because your brain is wired to focus on them. If you don't redirect it, that's all you are going to think about.
Remember those chemical cocktails like anxiety, overwhelm, stress, fear, frustration, your body can mix up so quickly because it gets sooo much practice with them? You can create the thoughts/cocktails for fun, joy, adventure, love, trust and more, with intention and on purpose.
Are you grateful for what you already have? How can you love the life you have more? The spouse you have? Family? Home? Job? the body? The calling? When you can do that, everything brings more joy.
Lighten up. Problems are everywhere. Stop living in serious negative overwhelm, making problems the focus of life. Decide you are a person who looks for happiness.
How can you be more playful? Enjoy life like a child...Say yes more often. Why restrict yourself? Why withhold joy? Why be irritated?
Create fun in those every day tasks...make challenging things more fun...
So, how are you withholding the fun, adventure and joy by the stories you are telling yourself? How can you create more joy every single day? Only you can decide to create joy, fun and adventure in your life. Are you up for it?